Dry run could be shocking
14.02.08
I'M convinced, although I
have no proof whatsoever for actually thinking this,
that I am not the only person who absolutely detests
those automatic hand dryer things you get in the toilets
of busy places like hotels and theatres.
For a start I know they are supposed to be
environmentally friendly and all that, but to be honest
I’ve always been a little bit afraid of them.
After all, they are ELECTRIC hand dryers, and I recall
being told time and time again when I was growing up
that water and electricity were not a great combination
to try to mix.
In fact one teacher I had, I think maybe in second or
third class seemed very intent on getting the message
across and had us draw pictures time and time again of
people getting electrocuted switching on lights and
other electrical stuff with wet hands.
I used to love drawing those pictures with the big
lightning zaps coming out of them. |
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But I always struggled when
he would tell me that the picture was good, but now I
needed a good slogan to go with it.
I was in second class, I didn’t know what ‘slogan’ meant
so I just stared at him blankly as if I’d just been
zapped in the head by 10,000 volts after switching on
the lights with wet hands.
Eventually he would explain and I would come up with
something ingenious like ‘don’t switch on electrical
stuff if your hands are wet.’
I’m guessing that in those formative years I’d not yet
learned to appreciate the humour of Tommy Cooper or the
Two Ronnies.
Nor had I any of the caffeine side effects that might
nowadays prompt me to more likely come up with something
like “If you don’t want to fry, make sure you’re hands
are dry.”
Anyway, all these lighting zapping flashbacks often come
back to me when I’m confronted with one of these
so-called hand dryers and I picture myself putting my
hands under them to get the shock of my life.
Not that I have to worry on that front usually though,
because apparently these things are put in to help us
save the planet and I can only guess that includes never
actually hooking them up to a power supply.
Now let me first clarify here that I’m talking about
those automatic dryers, you know the ones that are
supposed to know you have put your wet hands underneath
them and turn themselves on and off.
There are also of course the hit the button type, which,
considering they involve turning on an electrical
appliance with wet hands, I’m not that fussed about
either.
The thing is though, they usually work. And if they
don’t come on when you push the button, then you know it
is probably broken.
The automatic ones however are a different story. You
see you are never quite sure if they are working or not.
You put your hands under them. Nothing. You start to rub
your hands together. Nothing. You put your hands closer
to where you expect the warm air to come from. Nothing.
You are getting mad now so you risk your life and
actually touch the wire grid thingy where the warm air
is supposed to come from…nothing.
You look around to see if nobody is looking (that’s
never the case though because there is always a queue at
those damn things)…you dry your hands on the legs of
your trousers. Of course this could well lead to a
dilemma. |
You see on the one hand,
you could decide not to wash your hands (apparently some
people do this I’ve been told) but then you risk
spreading germs and disease and infection and, well, you
or others might die as a result.
On the other hand you might wash your hands and then
find that you can’t get them dry because the damn dryer
thingy isn’t working so you resolve next time not to
wash them and that could mean you risk spreading
spreading germs and disease and infection and, well you
or others might die as a result.
Then again, you could always do what I do - try to buy
trousers that are reasonably good at absorbing water! |
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A DROP OF
PORTER is
the weekly
column of
Inishowen
Independent
editor,
Liam Porter. |
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